Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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