You're earring is so big in my mouth
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
