I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
