plz talk dirty to me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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