Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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