I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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