You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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