Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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