Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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