Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
