just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
