Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
