I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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