i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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