is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
