2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
