1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
