During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have fence marks all over my body
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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