New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
3pm strippers are depressing
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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