carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
