he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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