Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
