Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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