Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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