i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
