You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You pole danced in your parka.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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