so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
