i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
