Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
