How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
