im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
