And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
