office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
