I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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