I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
