not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
