cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
