Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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