Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
