What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
