well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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