it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
