For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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