I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
