the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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