This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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