You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
