I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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