i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
