I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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